Human Nature: No change

Humans are certainly creatures of habit. That is to say, we get stuck in routines that feel comfortable because we practice the self-efficacy of survival through such routines.

Anyone who presents to themselves the challenging, and often frightening, thought of self-actualization not only demonstrates the courage to question their current reality but also gains the perspective to question the reality of others. This can be dangerous. Not dangerous to you (at least not if you’ve found the purpose in your life) but dangerous to your relationships with others.

Inherent Dangers

It takes an urgent and blatantly obvious problem in order for people to be forced to think of any possible solutions.

Thinking effectively is difficult, after all, and people who are stuck in habits and remain content in such situations likely will never be able to understand or escape the habits that limit their own beliefs in what is possible. Thus, I’d like to make clear this point…

You cannot change anyone.

It’s true, you cannot change anyone.

You can only help them change themselves.

Give them the materials and insight to the betterment of their beliefs and if they wish to implement them, they will be happier for it, if not, you’ve done all you can do short of forcing them to do so.

They must recognize a willingness to change on their own, if they don’t then you will never be able to force them to take the necessary steps that are required to change in the first place.

Some people (I still hate to admit) will simply never change. They have the ability to change but never gain the awareness or the willingness to make the effort.

I attribute this to a disconnect between action and passion. Still, I’d love nothing more than to be the person that can change the lives of others for the better despite all resistance, but that is akin to saying something like “I’ll show you peace! By force!”

Focus on your own livelihood, success, and happiness and outgrow the rest. This can be difficult (growing pains) for people who have grown attached to others, or yourself, who are (in the words of the new-found knowledge ingrained by your readings) demonstrating extremely limiting lives.

The Fear of Knowledge

The most frightening part of knowledge is often also related to the most empowering, the idea that we “don’t know what we don’t know”.

Let me explain.

This phenomenon often goes by another name which is simply the lack of self-awareness, often in the vain of self-improvement.

The fact that there is so much knowledge in the world is, as I said, both frightening and empowering. And in the current world with the internet and cell-phones, all of the worlds knowledge and history is at our fingertips. Our FINGER TIPS!… What do we do with it? We use it to get in fights with complete strangers and watch videos of cats.

Knowledge is frightening in the sense that we will never know all of it, empowering in the sense that there is always more to know. People who become puppets to their own self-limiting belief systems often don’t even realize that they are. They become ruled by a thinking process that does the thinking for them, never requiring them to make any conscious decisions or become aware of their reactions to external stimuli.

They become exactly that, reactionary.

How to Escape the Reactionary Process

If we can’t learn to control this reactionary process, or at least develop one that is in line with our desired lifestyles, then hope might as well be lost.

It starts with the admittance that this reactionary process exists, and more than that, it requires the will to alter it. Once it has been shown obvious to exist, most can understand the necessary steps required to change! Simply put, become aware of the process.

The next step includes introspection: practice looking within yourself to determine why you feel your reactions to various stimuli have been justified by your subconscious.

The subconscious controls the reactionary process, after all.

Then comes the decision: how are you going to alter your path of newly-conscious decision-making in order to dump old beliefs that no longer serve you and make the new-found revelations of your life a reality?

Next comes the action: beware this step, your subconscious enjoys tricking you into thinking that action (towards lasting change) is not within your best desires, avoid the trap of believing in your subconscious alone by constantly asking “why” it is that you perform your actions.

You Can Change Yourself

Notice that this happens within you, you cannot make the decisions or practice this awareness for others. You can certainly give them the information to become self-aware the way you are now but do so carefully.

Many people are comfortable living their lives and attempting to aid them can come across as an attack on their livelihood as opposed to the upgrade that it is.

The subconscious works this way. It has developed as a means of pure survival through the reward system behind pain and pleasure.

Habits become habits because they are shown to be conducive to the self-efficacy of the subconscious for the means of survival. In other words, The subconscious uses reactionary decisions to keep us in line with comfort, and comfort = survival.

You have now become aware of this! Congratulations! You can now take the course of action necessary to enact change. If you wish others to do so, don’t force them, simply inform them and lead by example.

Read more blog posts here!
Here is a related article from Inc.com On how to change for the better!

-Austin Denison