Happy Valentines Day everybody! I thought it would be appropriate to discuss the power of love given today’s date!
The truth is, love is still very much a mystery to us. We can explain it in scientific terms but hardly in terms of the power it unleashes for us in realizing our true potential. Today I intend to discuss the ways in which love gives us personal power, and the power to alter ourselves, and even others, for the better!
Love: A Factor of Emotional Energy
In my book The Potential Dichotomy, I state that love is part of the equation for emotional energy. Emotional energy, physical energy, and spiritual energy make up the whole of the energies we have to take action towards a fulfilling future. The delegations go like this.
Physical Energy: The ability to act without tiring.
Spiritual Energy: The ability to believe in something without it appealing to our senses.
Emotional Energy: The ability for us to love without condition or reciprocity.
It all sounds metaphysical, but I guarantee you that you use a certain combination of these characteristics every day of your life! No doubt about it!
For example, to take any action at all (such as getting out of bed, or even BREATHING) is a factor of physical energy. To take action with the expectation of a given outcome is a factor of having faith that that outcome exists and will create change for you. And lastly, but most difficult to realize, loving without condition heightens your spirit in a way that makes the troubles of life seem marginal compared to your greater perspective.
You see, love is the most powerful of our energies because it is the most influential emotion we have, and we are creatures of emotion more than anything else. Things are bought based on emotions, conflicts are created (and resolved) based on emotions, logic and reason are often disrupted because of emotions!
Think of Spock from Star Trek, that is nearly what humans would be without emotional energy. Doesn’t sound to fun, does it?
Love is often the main characteristic that gives our life meaning. Love provides the willpower to cling on through difficult times and to realize the good in any situation. I often say that there is no such thing as a bad situation, it is only the way you perceive something that makes the difference.
This idea is very powerful. Imagine what could happen if you knew that love, which is the base for human fulfillment, existed for you despite any fear you may have. Fear becomes minimal in the face of love, and often, when we recognize that our needs as people exist despite our fears, we can choose to create great change in our lives.
The answer to most of life’s issues can be found through cultivating self-love. With self-love, you gain the power to see all things for the benefit they provide, the change they inspire, and the chance to live in a different world. Self-love provides strength in the face of adversity. You become stable and willing to endure fear because you know that despite the outcome of your actions, your love will be there for you.
Love gives a person a reason to live. There have been studies regarding a variety of tell-tale signs that are measured to increase life-expectancy. Ultimately, studies have shown that drinking, eating, and exercise actually have LESS to do with life expectancy than the quality of your relationships.
This may or may not be surprising, considering that, for a long time, relationships have been the single most important factor in human satisfaction. We are herd animals after all. We greatly dislike loneliness. Loneliness represents the possibility of great pain to us, and as emotional creatures, everything we do is an attempt to avoid pain and gain pleasure within our lives.
Love Hotwires Our Memories
Another reason love is so powerful is that it hotwires our memories. Love, due to the immensity of pleasure it gives, becomes one of the emotional states that entices our memories to grasp on fully to that emotion. We remember more things, and in greater detail, when we are in a state of love!
Love Is the Baseline
Love often becomes the baseline for all of our actions, merely because we desperately try to reach that state continuously. It provides the emotional support we need in difficult times and the possibility of happiness in the future that inspires personal commitment.
Tips to commit to loving yourself, and resultantly, others as well!
Start a Gratitude Journal
In order to focus on the positive around you at all given times, take just a moment before you fall asleep (or right after you awake) to write down the things you are most grateful for in your life. Doing so will constantly put you in a state of positivity which is needed to nourish love and happiness.
Often times, thinking about the good that others provide in your life is a surefire way to begin treating them differently. Treating people from a place of love will nourish better relationships, more communication, and ultimately, a much more enjoyable life for all people involved.
Decide to Have Fun Wherever You Go
Sometimes we can’t help but go out alone sometimes. Be sure to consciously decide to have fun when you are by yourself. Be silly, sing in the car, whatever it is you want to do! Doing so communicates to your brain that you can love and be loved as much when you are alone as you can with others. This often solves issues with codependency as well.
By having fun when you are alone, you become appreciative of having company but not needy for it. You will become more secure, and willing to accept change in your life as a result!
There is an awesome article I wrote on forgiveness you can find by clicking HERE!
By practicing forgiveness, you decide to rob yourself of a negative victimhood mindset. Forgiveness is the key to letting go of the past and beginning to focus on a better future. The past cannot be changed, and focusing on regrets or actions that you took in the past is quite literally a waste of the time you have left to be a loving and giving person.
Decide to live in the present, and be grateful for the moment you are in, doing so allows you the strength to constantly improve the future and keep from falling into the debilitating state of victimhood.
Find The Purpose Behind All Actions
Mediocre and boring days cease to be so in the light of love. An immediate and rewarding thing you can do now to invite love into your life is to search for the purpose behind your actions.
On an organizational level, employees who are told how their jobs are important ultimately develop a commitment to achieving goals, and not simply the compliance behind being told what to do. Similarly, when you realize the underlying importance of your actions, whatever they may be, you develop a perspective necessary to see the forest through the trees and become happier as a result.
Everybody likes to feel important, and discovering the purpose behind your action, and potentially, your life is the largest step you can take to move towards a fulfilling future rich with self-love!
A question I often get is, “I am struggling with anxiety and depression, how can I reliably begin to implement self-love in the face of this adversity?” I have the perfect answer for you.
Depression and anxiety are the results of fear and the existentialism behind our actions without purpose (or at least, a purpose that does not fulfill us). It is like a poison in our minds that can hardly be controlled by thoughts alone. What I like to do is question these negative thoughts with what I call Positively Charged Doubt.
Doubt is ambiguous, we can doubt the good and the bad! What I entice you to do is anything that excites you and is beneficial to your mind and body. Do this without thinking! It could be anything you have wanted to do but simply “never got around to it.” Or something that may even scare you but you know you’d love to try! (skydiving for example! Or asking that person out! The possibilities are endless!)
Ultimately what occurs is this: The brain, which always tries to answer questions, will form a thought as such. “Why If I identify with depression and anxiety am I doing things that come from a place of self-love and joy?” The brain then starts to implement those feelings gradually because that is the only option it has!
Haven’t you ever done something that ultimately scared you but made you a much better person? Do you regret doing that thing? Likely not! It probably became an experience that taught you more about yourself than you knew before. And you likely loved yourself more as a result!
Be A giver
Few things prepare us for love than giving love to somebody else. That is why I make the point that developing self-love is necessary for becoming a genuine and loving person of others as well.
Decide on something small that you will give each day to somebody you come into contact with. anything as small as a genuine compliment, to a little gift, or even an extra coffee you grab before work. Doing so comes across abundantly and increases the quality and thoughtfulness of your relationships!
Ultimately, the science behind love is fuzzy, but the practices and their results speak for themselves! Lives can be transformed within an instant, and relationships repaired with these ideas. Becoming a loving person should be as much of a social responsibility as paying taxes if you ask me!
Focus on the best in life and within yourself and decide not to live another day in fear of a world you certainly have the power to change!
Happy Valentines Day!