Should you take to heart all of the exercises and practices and knowledge inside these blog posts, you will begin to notice changes in the way you perceive everyday life. You will begin to understand before judging, you will begin to love before guarding your vulnerability, and you will begin to act before expecting. You will benefit from the effects of actualization.
These changes account for only a minute percentage of the experience of fulfillment; it is a feeling that consumes everything, changes everything, and alters the very way you perceive the world and yourself inside it. Those who have had a taste of true fulfillment rarely continue to stop themselves with limiting beliefs—this stems from the abundance mindset.
Those who judge you unfairly will cease to impact you in your newfound understanding, and you will have grown beyond the impacts of negativity. Your self-awareness becomes great and your strength becomes great along with it. Your awareness of others grows, too, but in a way that reflects your newly set values of lifelong happiness and not sacrifices.
Here are some specific things you can expect to feel should you take the points in my writing to heart. These are all feelings you will notice occur immediately, hence my reasoning for the Short-Term Pleasure, Long-Term Pleasure combination that becomes possible when you pursue your passions!
Let these feelings direct you, not scare you. Know that although they may all feel different, they are all good and necessary for your continuous fulfillment. They are listed in no particular order of importance.
What to Expect From Self-Actualization
Joy becomes an overwhelming sense of calm. A feeling that although life may be changing, twisting, and bending around you, you are certain that you can find the good in all circumstances that come your way.
You feel grateful for the things around you because those things are good, too! You become happier, more loving and affectionate, and more trusting of others in your spirit. It is the sense that all is right, because no matter what is wrong, you can always choose to perceive it differently.
Your passion will bubble up from within you in ways you cannot imagine. You will, seemingly by magic, find the motivation and actions necessary to make your passions a reality. It will seem as though most of your previous roadblocks have disappeared, that you have found something to fight for, something you believe in with such reverence that even the things that were daunting to you become insignificant in the light of your consistently bigger-picture thinking.
Personally, I hated selling things. I got stuck in a low-income job, making not nearly enough to pay my bills. I used to blame the economy, my lack of experience, and my distrust of others, all of which became poison in my mind. After reaching a breaking point, one of many but a particularly severe one, I read similar books to this one that changed my life.
I found my passion using the “Own-It” Principle” and took a simple but crucial step towards fulfilling myself. I immediately became immersed in self-development with such determination that I overcame my fear of vulnerability. I looked inside myself and found that I didn’t truly dislike anything the way I thought I did.
I stopped thinking that I was a victim of my circumstances, or that I wasn’t good enough to be successful. I had loads of self-doubt and low self-confidence, but when I found my passion, I truly believed in what I was doing. I only made it happen because I believed in it more than I believed in my doubts. As a result, it manifested into my life. This kind of realization brings great excitement.
The kind of excitement that gives you goosebumps, makes you shiver in the possibility, and makes you constantly willing to do the hard things. And speaking of hard things…
Excitement will breed this in you. It will drive you to reach your goals, fulfill your passion, and cash in on the immense amount of potential that your passion gives you. As I mentioned earlier, you will find the sheer will necessary to do the things you know you must. Perhaps the most astonishing thing is the willingness and drive you will have to do all these things now.
You will likely begin heading towards your goals without realizing that you are making a conscious effort! It is such a powerful internal determination that it can change parts of your reactionary subconscious almost instantly. Your “why” becomes the measure of your habits, not what it is that you have previously been looking for all of your life.
Urgency is the willingness to complete things as quickly as possible. The urgency you get as a result of your passion is an amazingly momentous tool. Use it.
Many people wait until the time just feels right, never to realize that the time will never just feel right because feeling is a measure of your reactionary subconscious mind, not your circumstances.
As we know, and what joy will teach you, is that your circumstances don’t control your feelings. The way you choose to feel about your perceptions of the circumstances is what makes the difference. Urgency gives you the occasional ability to act on autopilot while achieving your goals.
You will feel such a pressing urge to fulfill yourself that all the preparation involved in your passion becomes so tediously slow that you can’t wait to complete it, even though you know you must!
Although the tasks may be tedious, they are still enjoyable because they provide much of the initial tangible excitement that will aid you in developing a sense of urgency.
Keep in mind that rushing is not urgency. Procrastinators will often justify their actions by stating they like the “urgency” of a deadline. There is a very important distinction between rushing and urgency, and it is this:
Urgency exists with a self-imposed feeling of the need for quick action, Rushing often connotes an externally imposed need for quick action.
What is the difference? You can allow yourself to be urgent while taking as much time as possible to do your best work. Working with an externally imposed deadline causes you to rush or suffer the consequences, whatever they may be. The difference is in the hierarchy between doing your best work as quickly as you can (urgency), and doing your quickest work, as well as time will allow (rushing).
Don’t mistake these two or you run the risk of developing a habit for procrastination instead of urgency. If this happens then you will effectively be codependent on external factors, unable to take action into your own hands when there ceases to be a deadline for you to rely on.
Discomfort is what I have lovingly referred to throughout this book as “growing pains.” It is the feeling that your subconscious mind produces when things change, especially when you change.
Remember, based on the Self-Efficacy of Survival, your subconscious mind wishes for you to simply survive and reproduce. It is hardly concerned with long-lasting fulfillment as opposed to immediate pleasure.
Feelings of discomfort, and even fear, should be signs that you are making serious, positive changes in your life—but only if you have discovered your beneficial conscious direction.
Remember, if you don’t know what your destination is, you will not know where to start as a result. Should you know your direction, and begin your journey, you will be uncomfortable at times. Every successful person I have talked to, read about, or seen on stage says that they are comfortable with being uncomfortable.
It is a continuous “growing pain” that makes the truly fulfilled people so influential. Take this discomfort with an attitude of joy—it is only there to show you that you are on the right path.
Ultimately these feelings bring with them the ultimate goal, the one feeling which cannot be lost easily. It becomes a craving. That feeling is fulfillment. Although you may wonder why the feeling of fulfillment should include any discomfort at all, let me explain why discomfort is temporary, and why your goals should make it a constant part of life if you wish to be extraordinary. You will find the answers in the section labeled “The Fear Baseline.”
Your ability to push past obstacles and become the best at your respective passions is leadership. Everybody wants to be a leader in some way. Whether you wish to lead in your respective career, family or industry, few people are willing to take the plunge and become responsible for the outcomes of big decisions.
In fact, accountability is the largest fear that goes hand in hand with leadership; the idea that the leader is solely responsible for the actions of their people. Consider the following characteristics of those who are excellent leaders.
The 10 Laws of Leadership
Let’s take a look into each one in more detail and how we can cultivate growth and development for your cause!
Optimism is finding the light at the end of the tunnel and using it to guide you through the darkness! Leaders are consistently optimistic, but never escape the realities of their situations. Leaders are those who constantly “Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.” Whether “the worst” ever happens is irrelevant because the leader finds and communicates the true meaning behind the actions of the group.
Hoping for the best ensures that they will not employ a debilitating mindset based on the possibility of failure. Preparing for the worst ensures that they will do everything necessary to succeed despite any potential hardships.
Leaders are inspirers, that is what makes them most effective! They do this by emphasizing their conviction and values. Leaders should inspire others through their unwavering commitment to success. It is the magnanimous amount of conviction they feel towards the purpose of the group that inspires those around them.
Leaders never have a “lone-wolf” mindset because they recognize the importance and power of organized efforts. These efforts are larger than themselves, but always in line with a vision for the future. Leaders inspire because they can accurately and effectively communicate the desired future that should be crafted by their actions and the actions of their people.
Leaders cannot do everything themselves. They must break up tasks and “spread the wealth” so that efficiency can be honed. Leaders cannot do it all. Delegation is how leaders dismiss the idea of a “lone-wolf” attitude presented in the “Inspiration” point. Proper delegation follows a theme that should be implemented well. The theme is this: Leaders always strive for commitment, not compliance.
What’s the difference? Simple. Leaders who inspire commitment will communicate the importance of a delegated action. They communicate this importance by describing why this action must take place to the person to whom they assign the action. This person, who now understands the reasoning behind his actions, can continue to get results because they understand the result that must be achieved, not simply the actions that must be taken.
Even if conditions change, this person can continue to produce the desired result because they recognize the bigger picture. Compliance is the result of saying “Do it because I told you to!” If the leader isn’t present, or if the reasoning behind the action is not clear, nothing would be accomplished!
The best workers are those who understand the importance of their actions, the most ineffective workers are those who only do what they are told and never ask “Why?”.
You must have confidence if you wish to go “all in” in any area of your life. True conviction is a result of having no alternatives! Without confidence, the leader likely wouldn’t be the leader in the first place. Confidence is absolutely necessary to the initial stages of reaching a goal. Most people have confidence in something, and that confidence has allowed them to take action without fear holding them back.
Confidence is needed to develop efficacy. A leader with confidence is always willing to try new things, a leader with efficacy can re-produce results. Ultimately both are needed in good leadership. Confidence is the initial trial-and-error that puts you into a position to succeed. Efficacy is needed to continue your success over and over again!
Having confidence in yourself instills confidence in the minds of others. I would much rather follow a leader who displays confidence than one that is timid and unsure about themselves, strictly because decision-making is such a current issue in leadership. Most people are so worried about making decisions that they fail to act in the first place! A Brilliant mind once said, “Vision without execution is just a hallucination!”
Creativity can be your biggest ally and often goes hand in hand with confidence because it requires the strength and will to do more than just problem-solving. Creativity provides the ability to solve issues in ways that others often wouldn’t as well as the ability of a leader to think outside the box.
Good leaders don’t ask questions like “How can we solve this problem.” That is a short-term mindset. Instead, they ask questions like “Is this the real problem?” and “Why does this problem exist in the first place?” Asking these questions helps you drill down to the root of the initial cause of the issue.
Once you are aware of the true issue, you can resolve it without wasting time on the symptoms and not the causes. Creativity is the leader’s ability to think in terms of the desired future and pursue any means necessary to achieve it the way they wish.
Without good communication, don’t expect to get the results you desire! Strive for commitment! A leader without good communication skills is likely a figurehead who isn’t truly pulling the strings of the organization. Leaders must be able to communicate their goals, their processes, and the future they envision as a result.
Without the ability to properly communicate, the leader will always fall short of commitment from their people. It is entirely possible for people in power to fall short of leadership. Think of it this way, power does not always produce a leader, but a leader is always powerful. There is a saying in marketing, “Reputation does not break companies, obscurity does.”
What this saying means is that, oftentimes, any amount of communication is better than none. This point may also be evident in the saying “There is no such thing as bad publicity.”
Empathy is a result of “walking the same road” as another person. You can use empathy to your benefit and derive strength from weakness! Empathy is one of the single most important characteristics of good leaders. Experience is required for empathy to exist because empathy is defined by having similar experiences.
Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone because you can imagine what they feel. Empathy is feeling sorry for someone because they are feeling the way you have felt before. Empathy is much more powerful and often becomes the driving force behind the actions of leaders.
Many large and up-and-coming organizations are led by people who have first-hand experience with the purpose that the organization provides. For example, the “Me Too” movement is led by a victim behind the movement’s purpose. It is a feeling of converting experience and the potentially negative aspects of life into strength that gives leaders their unwavering commitment.
Honesty is the biggest factor of trust. Being honest, even when it is difficult, will always be beneficial in the long run. Leaders who are not honest are represented by the saying “The bigger they are the harder they fall.” A dishonest leader ruins their chances of being truly exceptional.
Honesty is one of the top values that people search for in good leadership. For example, as a consultant, my job is NOT to tell management that everything is roses and daisies with their businesses, leadership skills, or productivity. My job is to be honest, to provide resourceful recommendations, and to make owners happy through continued results, not simply praise.
Honesty, in fact, can be your number one ally as a leader. Those who are honest, even when it is difficult to do so, often cultivate so much trust with those they form relationships with that they are continually relied upon. Trust isn’t formed by familiarity; it is formed by honesty. That is why a single lie can ruin relationships formed over years; business or personal.
Intuition is an instinct. It is something that is a representation of the natural you and your desires.
Leaders are intuitive, believe it or not, intuition is very closely connected to honesty, here’s how. Intuition is required to form opinions and actions based on your understanding of a thing or situation.
Intuition is relevant to honesty, because following your gut instinct is a form of intuition. Your gut instinct cannot be lied about, it is a reflection of your true intentions. Ultimately, to be an effective leader, you must demonstrate that the honesty you have shown to your people is reflected by your intuitive gut-instinct.
This is because honesty is perceived by others, but your gut instinct is truthful to you. If your intuition is out of line with the perceptions of the people you lead, you will quickly lose rapport.
Failing forward is the key to having resilience. In other words, don’t give up! Success is resilience in the face of adversity. Resilience in a leader is the willingness to push through any obstacle, find any solution, and believe wholeheartedly in their vision. Resilience is required for results to be attained.
Failure is inevitable, but only true failure can exist when you decide to give up and become content with mediocrity. Resilience begins by asking the question “What can I learn from this?” and “How can I apply what I learned to my next attempt?”
Only by asking these questions will your practice true resilience. Wise people look at mistakes as learning opportunities, nobody becomes an overnight success the first time they try something. There is a common saying, “It takes many years to become an overnight success!”