We all experience points in our lives when everything just seems to be going wrong for us.
That business you’re attempting to build isn’t getting off the ground, your car is damaged and can’t be driven, you were just fired, you have bills to pay, whatever it is, it feels like the world really does crash down on you.
At the point in my life as I am writing this, I am unemployed, with lots of debt for a degree that has not yet helped me, my car recently broke down, and my business has not returned anything to me yet. But I’m still putting in the effort, and I want to share some of my perspective.
After all, when it rains, it pours.
Why Does Everything Go Wrong?
Why do we tend to see things this way? One or two small mishaps in the path of life may not be that big of a deal, but why do things tend to all go wrong right after one another?
The reason this occurs is because in psychology, “Perception is projection.”
When things go wrong, we don’t tend to perceive accurately, instead we tend to project our thoughts on the situation.
This is why when one thing goes wrong, we begin to notice and think about a billion other things that go wrong for us too. No matter how small or inconsequential they may be.
Take a penny, and throw it as far away as you can. You probably can’t see the penny anymore, right?
Now take that same penny and hold it up close to your eyes, that penny now encompasses half of your field of vision.
The penny never changes size, it’s your point of focus that makes the difference of what you see.
So, today I’d like to discuss 5 things to remember when everything seems to be going wrong for you and how you can exercise the most amount of power that you have to change or adapt to the situation!
5 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong
1. You’ve Been There Before
You’ve certainly struggled through difficult times before, whether you can remember those times or not. And that is the point.
We tend to blow issues out of proportion when they are immediately pressing on us.
The fact that you can hardly remember those difficult times that you’ve experienced in the past should be a comforting foreshadowing of what to expect in the future.
Everyone has faced rough challenges before, the fact that you’ve came out of those alive and kicking should be motivating!
Take just a moment and ponder the problems you’ve had to face before, and look where you are now. You’ve been able to get over them, and experience joy and happiness in between these events.
After all, without the struggle, the happiness and joy and comfort wouldn’t mean anything. It’s times like this that make you grateful for what you will have later.
2. You Have More Control Than You Think
Chances are, you aren’t the helpless person that you might believe you are right now. We all feel like things are out of our control on occasion, but this is rarely the case.
Truth is, there are definitely things you can be doing right now to either 1) Remedy the situation or 2) adapt to the situation.
That order is the key, fix what you can, and adapt to what you can’t.
If resilience has taught me anything, it’s that success is not the avoidance of failure, but the perseverance to push through it.
Think about the things you could be doing to make a difference right now. What is it that can help you the most?
In my situation, I need money, therefore, I will begin doing everything that I possibly can to improve my position in such a way and through various means that I have control over.
Giving up is the only true failure, because, otherwise, perseverance dictates that you succeed.
3. Not Everything is Going Wrong
As I mentioned before, not everything is going wrong, it’s only your perception of things that make them feel as if they are going wrong.
With a mindset that is focused on loss, it is easy to begin projecting that loss onto everything.
Even things that are going right for you can be manipulated by the mind to match the perspective that it has shaped out for itself. unfortunately, this perspective may be loss, struggle, and hardship.
Even when that may not be the case.
This is why some people, despite what happens to them, maybe negative or positive.
Even when good things happen, negative people will think negatively, and even when bad things happen, positive people will think positively.
The question is, what do you CHOOSE to focus on? That will present to you the opportunities, or the hardships, depending on your perspective.
Choose to actively and consciously focus on something that is going right for you, even just write it down as you get out of bed to immediately begin your day on a high-note that has the great potential to affect the rest of your day.
4. Asking For Help is Ok
When things go wrong, it’s easy to think you are all alone in the situation, but this is just false.
There are likely many people around you who are willing to help, but it will take your own courage and willingness to allow them to do so before you can ask.
This is why many people feel like nobody is willing to help them, you simply haven’t asked!
It’s not wrong to feel like you need help and to ask for it, everybody experiences this at some point or another, and everyone inevitably needs help at some point or another.
Whether you need favors or just general support from those who you are close to, asking for help can provide you with the strength you need to truly make a difference in your situation.
5. You Always Have the Choice To Love Yourself
Fear stems from the doubt we have that we can’t handle the situation at hand. Fear is almost never correct in that assumption but is always limiting us, either way.
The ruth is, despite anything that goes wrong or right with the world, the only one that you need to appeal to is yourself.
Worrying less about what others think and doing what you can to maintain and augment your own happiness is what I commonly attribute to the keys of happiness and actualization of effort.
Think of it this way, despite what anybody does, or anything that happens to you, you will never lose control of your dignity and your self-image.
It’s easy to let things get in the way, but they can never directly impact your vision of your worth, it’s whether you ALLOW them to that makes the difference.
Don’t allow them to, constantly remind yourself of your worth and the value you can provide and you will be much less afraid to stand out and take chances.
Here are the 5 things to remember when everything seems to be going wrong for you:
1. You’ve been there before.
2. You have more control than you think.
3. Not everything is going wrong.
4. Asking for help is ok.
5. You always have the choice to love yourself.
Thanks for reading!
Work With Austin
-Austin Denison is a management consultant and coach from Southern California and founder/CEO of Denison Success Systems LLC. He is the author of The Essential Change Management Guidebook: Master The Art of Organizational Change as well as The Potential Dichotomy: The Philosophy of a Fulfilling Life, and, coming soon: KICK*SS Content Marketing, How to Boost Your Brand and Gather a Following.