Do you remember a certain time in your life when things seemed perfect? When nothing seemed to bother you, you were happier and more loving to others than ever before, you were lighter, life was brighter, and you truly tapped into the potential you really had?
I’ll bet these feelings occurred after some new experience, change, or dream of yours that had come to pass. This time likely occurred after a rejuvenating vacation, breathtaking sight, near-death experience, or any kind of situation that shows you how amazing life can really be.
Ultimately, in this post, we will be discussing the way true self-actualization really feels. We will talk about the effects of fulfillment on ourselves, and how it alters our mindsets.
Can Self-Actualization Truly Exist?
Often do I get the question of “Is self-actualization really possible?”, and to which I say yes, but not in the way that Maslow himself defined self-actualization.
Maslow’s definition of self-actualization seems like a utopia. It seems too perfect, as if we all lived in a world where we didn’t interact or interfere with others, and our mental stability reigned supreme. Obviously, this world does not exist.
Check out the full article HERE!
This definition, “Fulfillment of the highest needs” is rather optimistic. I truly believe that self-actualization exists, but it takes much discipline and willingness to uncover it. It takes a certain kind of constant consciousness in a sense, to be aware of everything you do and relay it to a higher purpose. Build a habit of thinking in terms of your purpose and you can achieve your goals in life much more quickly.
And remember, being fulfilled by one thing may not make you fulfilled in every area of your life. A fulfilling career to you may actually cause your home life to suffer, but only if you don’t understand the nature of our limited resources.
In my book The Potential Dichotomy, I describe that we only have 3 true human resources. True resources are those that cannot be taken away from us, we control them solely. These are the resources of energy, time, and conscious direction (focus). Only when we can control these resources can we become fulfilled.
Heres a definition of conscious direction for clarity:
The semi-fluid resource that is changeable but often remains the same. This is the direction of our passions (purpose, “why”). It is the setting and fulfillment of goals in relation to our passions.
Check out my article on Conscious Direction HERE!
There is an interesting relationship between these resources, something I call The Third Law of Actualization Energy: Due to the limitations on (potential) time and energy at any given point, immediately shifting one of these two fluid resources will result in their shifting away from something else. This is the logic necessary for The Potential Dichotomy.
What this law means is this, donating your time and energy to another thing will inevitably shorten the amount of time and energy you have to give to something else, which could be potentially more fulfilling. It is a basis for explaining the opportunity costs of personal resources on happiness.
Let me ask you, “what is the opportunity cost of doing what you do now? It could be your own fulfillment.
Here is the point, donating all of your time and energy to your career (the object of your conscious direction) will inevitably take your time and energy away from other things, such as your home life, or family.
Ultimately, this could cause issues if you do not know how to properly balance your life in a way that ensures the most fulfillment to you on all fronts!
Check out my article on balance HERE!
Here is what you can expect from a balanced and fulfilling life!
Characteristics of Fulfillment!
This one is fairly obvious. Joy becomes an overwhelming sense of calm. A feeling that although life may be changing, twisting and bending around you, you are certain that you can find the good in all circumstances that head your way.
Your passion will bubble up from within you in ways you cannot imagine. You will, seemingly by magic, find the motivation and actions necessary to make your passions a reality.
It will seem as though most of your previous roadblocks have disappeared, that you have found something to fight for, something you believe in with such reverence that even the things that were daunting to you become insignificant in light of your consistently “bigger”-picture thinking. For more on “Bigger-Picture” Thinking click HERE!
Excitement will breed this in you, it will drive you to reach your goals, begin fulfilling your passion, and cashing in on the immense amount of potential that your passion gives to you.
Like I mentioned earlier, you will find the sheer will necessary to do the things you know you must.
Urgency is the willingness to complete things as quickly as possible. The urgency you get as a result of your passion is an amazingly momentous tool. Use it.
Many people wait until the time just feels right, never to realize that the time will never just feel right because feeling is a measure of your reactionary subconscious mind, not your circumstances.
As we know, and what joy will teach you, is that your circumstances don’t control your feelings. The way you choose to feel about your perceptions of the circumstances is what makes the difference.
It is true, there is a bad feeling here, but not really. Discomfort is what I have lovingly referred to throughout this book as “growing pains”. It is the feeling that your subconscious mind produces when things change, especially when you change.
Remember, based on the Self-Efficacy of Survival, your subconscious mind wishes for you to simply survive and reproduce. It is hardly concerned with long-lasting fulfillment as opposed to immediate pleasure.
Feelings of discomfort, and even fear, should be signs that you are making serious, positive changes in your life but only if you have discovered your beneficial conscious direction.
This is what fulfillment will feel like, and they are all good feelings that will lend themselves to an increase in the happiness and love you give and receive throughout your daily life. It makes the discipline and journey worth all the effort.